Glenn Beck vs. Chris Matthews

Is it permissible to criticize Glenn Beck, or is it too much like picking on a mentally handicap person? I think it is too similar, but I’m going to make an exception to my general rule of not making fun of the mentally handicap.

Glenn Beck is a moron. This, you probably already knew. As I woke up this morning and scrolled though some daily headlines, I came across this gem of an article:

Obviously, by now, I know not to be shocked when Glenn Beck says something incredibly stupid, or defends something that is indefensible (like, say, the 3/5ths compromise). But, one portion of that article inspired me to dig a little bit deeper and find out why Glenn Beck is such a moron.

“You sir, are a balloon head that was taught by a balloon head and all you did because you’re a balloon head was sit in your stupid balloon head Ivy League classroom and be indoctrinated by a balloon head and never ever used your balloon head to ask an intelligent question of the balloon head in the tweed jacket!” – Glenn Beck, to Chris Matthews

For the record, as the HuffPo points out, Matthews went to Holy Cross and then UNC… neither of which are Ivy League… but that’s not the point. It always cracks me up when Conservatives criticize our greatest educational institutions because most of our greatest professors disagree with them (that should tell them something, shouldn’t it.)

So, I thought I’d check out which school taught Glenn Beck the gobbldeegook that’s up in his head. As I’m scrolling down on Beck’s wikipedia page, I look at his information bar on the right hand side of his article:

Born Glenn Edward Lee Beck[1]
February 10, 1964 (1964-02-10) (age 46)
Everett, Washington, U.S.
Residence New Canaan, Connecticut
Nationality American
Education Sehome High School

Wait wait wait. Sehome High School? Why would they list that under his education instead of his colle… oh. OH! I get it. The man who pretends to know everything about the world never got a secondary education. The man that millions of Americans watch/listen to for their political information has no formal education in politics, or economics, or, uh, anything.

But, not going to college isn’t enough to make someone that dumb think they’re that smart. It’s more than that. Glenn Beck also said that he smoked pot every day from age 16 to 32, and was an alcoholic. That’s 16 very politically formative years! Let’s see, for Beck, that would be from 1980-1996. He was stoned and drunk from the time Reagan took office to the time Clinton got a BJ in the office!

Then what happened? Com’on. What always happens? He found God. And I say, good for him. Good. For. Him. Probably provided his crazy ass with some structure and direction. But, here’s the funny thing about an unstable person with no formal education who suddenly starts going to church after 16 years of alcoholism and drugs: Church becomes their education.

So, Glenny, before you go criticizing our nations great educational centers, take a look in the mirror. Harvard or Yale, Holy Cross or UNC, they may not be perfect. But, when it comes to learning about politics, economics, and life in general, they’re a heck of a lot better and less bias than the Church of Latter-day Saints.

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